Saturday, May 19, 2012

Wondering what will happen...

As you all (my avid readers, few that you are) know my health insurance for the new job kicks in on June 1st.  Which means that we get to start trying for another shot at parenthood in about 4 short weeks.  I truly hope that it doesn't take to long for us to conceive another baby...
I am now unsure how I feel about getting pregnant and trying to have another baby.  I am truly nervous about another pregnancy, I was a HORRIBLE pregnant woman the first time around.  I was pukey and in pain for most of my pregnancy with Noel.  I know that I'm being ridiculous, that I'm making excuses, but I almost feel like I'll FORGET Noel if I have another baby.
There is a huge part of me that is nervous about the pregnancy.  I'm scared that I'll carry another baby for 40 weeks and that baby will die.  What happened to Noel.  I miss my baby girl every second of every day.  I know that the odds of what happened are in my favor that it won't happen again, but I can't help but feel extremely nervous about the whole thing.
I'm going to close up for the time being, I may come back and write more on this post AFTER I accomplish some of my house work list.

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